Private v. public (blogging advice)

10.08.2004

I've learned some hard lessons about personal blogging over the years, and I continue to learn them. But I think I've learned enough to pass along a few tidbits:

  1. Keep a strong distinction between private & public. A blog is a public platform, it's not always the most appropriate place for extremely private revelations. You'll most likely hurt someone else. And while your blog's your "private" journal, it's a published work as well. If you wouldn't write something as a newspaper article or flyer pasted all over town, don't post it on your blog.

  2. Dating online's complicated, breaking up more so. Remember, romantic relationships are private, not public. You wouldn't write about your sexual escapades in a public bathroom stall; don't post about them on your blog. More than in any other situation is it important to remember that a blog is a public, published forum.

  3. You're free to reveal as much personal information about yourself as you want, but you don't have that same freedom about other people. This goes from things as simple as phone numbers; you can post yours, but not someone else's (w/o their explicit consent). Even if the information you reveal is true (or you believe it is), you don't have the right to reveal another person's personal, private information.

  4. Edit your posts. I don't mean just for style, wording, etc. Stopping to edit your posts can save you hardship later. If you're posting some private reflection, remember that your blog is public; do you want other people to read exactly what you just wrote in 30 seconds? Would you rather word it differently? Self-editing is extremely important in public forums. It's difficult to take back a conversational slip of the tongue; it's nearly impossible to take back published work.

  5. Does it pass the five year test? Don't post something that might embarrass you five years later. Or ten. Or twenty.

  6. Does it pass the mom & dad test? If you post publicly on the internet, your parents (or their friends) may easily stumble upon it. Do you really want to have a long, drawn out fight w/ your parents over something you could just as easily have told a friend in private over a cup of coffee?

  7. Does it pass the Google test? Your blog's indexed by search engines. Do you want people googling you to find that post & (potentially) base their first impression of you from that? Perhaps the guy/girl you're thinking of dating? Perhaps your potential employer?

  8. Finally, does it pass the honesty test? How you feel at some particular moment (due to stress, emotions, fatigue, etc) may not reflect what you honestly think about a person, place, or thing. Once it's published, people will assume that's what you think. They'll judge you based on your words, not your intent, your character, or anything. Only your words.

I've learned some of these lessons the hard way. But. In retrospect. They were common sense rules I should've followed all along.

Posted by Miguel at 02:57 PM

Comments

Were you warning someone particularly? N.

Posted by: Nenad at October 8, 2004 09:56 PM

Very sensible.

Posted by: tom at October 8, 2004 11:45 PM

I think a blog is whatever you intend to make of it. It's an autobiography. The line between public and private is blurred and subject to personal interpretation. It's whatever you feel comfortable revealing (even when someone you gossipped about in your weblog finds out).

Posted by: Stephanie at October 9, 2004 01:14 AM

No, this wasn't aimed at anyone in particular. Or, rather, a lot of things I've noticed over the course of a while from many different people (including myself). Enough said about that.

As for Stephanie's comment, I can understand that a blog's whatever you want to make it. But there are other people involved, sometimes. And there's a line between gossip & slander that shouldn't be crossed. Ever. My blog is my running autobiography. And while I'm sometimes weirded out that people I've just met have read years of my life (as if researching me or something), I've come to accept it. After all, this is a public, published work. That's all I'm saying.

Some people want to use blogs as a personal, private diary. There are sometimes repercussions to putting a personal, private diary in the public domain. Usually, there are consequences. Most often, it comes from the reaction that other people aren't allowed to react negatively to your posts, because they merely reflect how you feel. It's the implicit idea that your feelings are more important than others (since you're allowed to say spiteful things about others to "vent" but others aren't allowed to be upset by them).

There are things about my personal life that I don't post about. I might tell friends (phone, email, conversation). But I don't post about them. Because I'm not the center of the universe, and things I write about other people (family, friends, coworkers) affect them, too. And I have to take their rights into consideration & weigh them against my ability to vent.

Posted by: Miguel [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 9, 2004 02:17 AM

Yes, Miguel. But that is your choice. Do not forget that. Cheers, N.

Posted by: Nenad at October 9, 2004 08:08 AM

Good points!

Posted by: cat at October 11, 2004 01:40 PM